Kali-Mav

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is healthy wherever in the world you're right now!

I was lucky to have an easy enough time in quarantine, re-organizing my life a bit and doing some self-reflecting. Got a few things out of the way and wanted to let you know that commissions are open!

There's not much I wouldn't do, probably wouldn't be comfortable with erotic art of real life people (actors etc) posted online, private commissions would be alright with that. Other than that? Can't think of something

I'm trying to get the hang of Instagram / Twitter / Youtube. I'd love to see you there!

I wasn't even sure I was going to address this. It's been years since it happened either way, no matter that I heard about it less than 24 hours.

I did not sleep well last night, and when I did it was with a weight on my chest; a weight I carried around all day and still have.

Many years ago I decided than I wanted to be an artist. I didn't want to be an artist as a hobby. I wanted to spent my life creating art. I decided that I would be a comic designer - even if I've slipped from this dream a bit. I wanted to grow up and do that so passionately, because one person's work inspired me to do so.

I fell in love with Rurouni Kenshin before I knew what a manga was, before I knew comic designer and artist were entitlement professions. I grew up dreaming about creating a work like that. I got into this career with the hope that I could reach out and touch even ONE person with my work. I wanted to be the source of inspiration and dreams of someone - as conceited as that sounds - like Nobuhiro Watsuki had been for me. I wrote about my love for his work once, on my grandma's old textbook, and to remind me myself of my dream, I rolled the papers up, I adorned them with ribbons and trinkets and hung them in my room. My grandma has passed since then, and they remain on my childhood bedroom wall, 15 years later.

I was scared when I heard about the live action movies, they're usually phenomenally bad adaptations, and then I grew ecstatic when I heard when the creator would oversee it personally, cause I trusted him to do good by it. And they did! I cried a few times throughout, simply because of how careful and thoughtful the movie were, when it came to the original work.

I was equally ecstatic when I heard about the new movies coming out! Movies that will tackle my favourite part of the story. That was until I scrolled down a bit in the comments and was confronted with:

"Why do they still make movies, when the creator was found to have child porn??"

The next comment was an infuriating "Who cares?", but I was stuck to the one above it. I looked into it and sure enough, it was true. He was caught with child porn, admitted to it, even went as far as to specify the ages he preferred.

He's out now, his publishing company and he "apologized" and promised to "do better" and so the publication of the Rurouni Kenshin sequel continues.

I can't let go of my love for this work, it was my stepping stone. But the artist behind it, is as good as dead to me. I can't anymore in good consequence support him any further. I thought that would be it, I thought I could easily separate him from his work and would not think about it further.

But the tightness in my chest and the fact that I'm crying writing this, shows me I was wrong. He was my idol, that person. His work, rather. Some moments I wish I didn't know, but then again... it's an important step, learning to separate the artist from work. It helps no one to hide from the truth, it disrespects the victims of this situation. I hope nothing hinders their future, I hope they grow up to the best of what they want to be, I hope they grow up with people that love them. And these hopes could seem silly and empty, but they are true.

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In a final note, Albert Uderzo passed today. And the Ninth Art, is all the poorer from it. I'll quote the Greek Comic Con, for one of the creators of the first comics I read

"Au revoir, maître.

Thank you for teaching us to resist, to love and to dream like Gauls"